| ...............I just wrote a very deep post and it got deleted. wow. I am never posting on this crappy web site again! 
Ok, that is a lie, but...I am a wee bit angered at the moment.
The holiday season is upon us and I have to say that my normal giddy ambition is not present this year. Instead is replaced with a troubled anxiety. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I miss my family and I know that there is no hope of seeing them any time soon. It's hard stuff. No more of this "I'm taking a one-month break from life to go laze around and get fed delicious home made meals and not have a care in the world." Oh boy...not that I am knocking any of you who will be partaking in such festivities because I envy you. I'm just saying, it is tough growing up. I mean, I have been grown up for quite some time, but this is my first Thanksgiving and Christmas being spent away from mi familia. It is quite wrenching...being the family gal that I am. There will be no fudge, almond brittle, or divinity freshly baked by grandma while all of us sit in the den and watching the 24/7 marathon of "A Christmas Story" on TNT. There will be no enormous breakfast for the whole fam to wake up to on Christmas morning...there will be walking through the living room waist deep in wrapping paper after everyone is finished opening gifts....no no folks. There will be none of that.  My little heart aches.
This is a time though, when I am feeling lonely and sad to learn something. Today in church we learned from Ecclesiastes when Solomon is like "boo-hoo...something is missing, waaaa....even though I saw the glory of God with my own two eyes, boo-hoo...everything is meaningless." You know it got me to thinking...perhaps the reason I feel like I always want something more is because I should be seeking God as my ultimate company and friend. I think sometimes we discount the power of prayer and a totally intimate connection with God. It's like...you're a believer and you know all the stuff to say, but your relationship is just a ritual. You get up, you pray, you read your bible, you pray, you go through your day, take a shower, and pray before you go to sleep. I am so guilty of that...when really I should be praying continually!! ALL THE STINKING TIME. And another thing...I was talking to a wise friend of mine and he said "why should we feel bad to pray specifically for things that we want or need when God is the one who knows our desires the most." Ya know? I mean really. Ok...I am beginning to ramble, so I will quit while I am ahead. Long story short, if you are feeling a little low or just sort of somber...you're not alone and as my grandma always said : "this too, shall pass." (haha...I know, I know. Someone else really famous said that once too.  )
Love....lots and lots of it. |
from peeling 50 pounds of apples.
HAHAHA